Headless, but Harmless
by shizuospudding
Summary: One-Shot - Shinra and Celty meet the 11th Doctor while out spending time together.


"Hm? Celty? What is it?"

[_Sh-Shinra? Did you feel that too?_] She was panicked. [_An awful chill! Do you think it's Aliens? What if they're here? In this very room?_]

"Now, Celty, be reasonable," said Shinra calmy. "Even if aliens existed, why would they be walking aroung here of all places?"

[_What if they feed off of human energy!?_] she typed hurriedly.

"Celty, if they fed off of human energy, it'd be their food source, correct?" he tried to reason with her. "They'd need it to live, in which case, they'd die without it. So they wouldn't come from space, now would they?"

[_So…not feeding…but what about…!_] Shinra held up a hand.

"We're out to spend sometime together, not worry about tiny green men at don't exist."

"Did someone say 'tiny green men'?" said a voice behind them. Celty jumped and turned around. There was a strange man hanging off a support post. He was wearing a suit with suspenders and a bow tie. He didn't seem to be from around. "They're not really tiny, in fact the Silurians are quite big, same as humans. And they not aliens, their from this planet after all. If anything, humans are the aliens," he spoke in a very knowing way. "But they are very green. And scaly."

[_Wh-who are you?!_] Celty frantically held out her PDA. She was getting the same weird vibe from this man. Was he one of them? He wan't paying attention to the object at the moment, yet seem to know what she said anyways.

"Who am I? Who indeed! But who I am is unimportant. What _is_ important, is who _you_ are, my fine friend, and why you are wearing a helmet indoors." He pulled a odd long object from his jacket pocket. He fiddled with it a bit before pointing it at Celty, and the object emitted a strange sound.

Shinra and Celty both backed away, wary of the man and his object. "What's that thing?" questioned Shinra.

"What, this old thing?" he held it up to his ear as if listening for something specific. "It's screwdriver. Sonic Screwdriver to be more accurate. And you," he pointed it at her once more," are not human."

Celty tenses. _What!? How could he tell? Is it that weird device? Is he an alien?!_

The man came closer and making them retreat again. "But just what are you then?: He lifts the helmet's visor and peers in. "Just as I thought, no head!" He then shuts it and turns around. "But what creature doesn't have a head, yet lives? Now that I've ever heard of. Or, at least I don't think I have." He turns and faces them again. "Problem with being hundreads of years old, eh? You just don't remember things quite like you use to. So then…" He moves uncomfortably close to Celty. "Just what are you…?" the man says in a low and curious voice.

Shinra had just about enough of this harassment of his wife. "Look here, I don't know who you think you are, but you leave my wife alone!"

"Hm?" The man looked over at Shinra as if he forgot he was there. "Oh, yes, the glasses one. Are you aware that your 'wife' is missing her head?"

"Yes," Shinra responded matter of factly. "In fact that's why I fell for her!"

"Oh…Then she's not," he looks at her,"You're not plotting to destory the world or anything like that?"

Celty looked insulted, or at least as much as she could be as one without expressions can.[_How dare you! I'm looking for my head and nothing else! Though…I did manage to find love._]

"Oh Celty~" Shinra was exstatic.

"Oh." The man shifted his eyes between them. "My mistake. I should be off them!" He turns to leave.

"Wait a minute! Who are you?!"

"Oh, on one of importance. You can call me, The Doctor." He ended with a smirk.

[_But Shinra's a doctor, and you dress nothing like him!_]

"So? Not everyone dresses the same, you know," he said, fixing his bow tie. He walked off towards a big blue box they somehow never noticed before. As he went, he passed a tall blond in a bartender suit and said, "Nice bow tie." The blond looked at him, somewhat confused, as Shinra and Celty approached him a well, watching the so called 'Doctor' reach the box. "Now, if you don't mind, I have a date with destiny! Well….no so much a date, and her name isn't destiny…But the point remains I need to be somewhere."

The door opened and a red haired woman popped her head out. "About time! Now get inside." She deemed.

"Just a moment, Amy. Don't need to be so bossy," he replied, fixing his jacket. "Now then!" He pulls out his screwdriver once more and pointed it at Celty. "Just want to get a few more readings…"

"Stop screwing my wife!" Yelled Shinra, to which Celty punted him in the stomach. It had came out much worse than he had intended.

Amy rolled her eyes and pulled the Doctor inside. "We don't have time for this Doctor," and shut the door. Soon after, the box began making noises and Celty hid behind Shinra. It then began to fade in and out and eventually vanished.

The three of them were left standing there staring where it once was, and the blond turned to the other two. "What was that about?" Shinra sighed as Celty began to panic again.

[_That was an alien! I told you Shinra! They're among us!_]


End file.
